far too long

What does this have to be about? I don’t remember. Let me check the email.
Ok! We got it now. So… an important moment in my life…I’m thinking. OOH! I got it.
I grew up in an excessively small christian school. From my first day at kindergarten on, i was constantly surrounded by God-loving teachers and other kids i knew went to church every sunday. and no, not all of them were christians, but i knew that none of them were “bad” kids. it was safe. it was family. it was home. at school, every one knew everything about you but in the most positive way. i was not just a student, i was a sister and a friend. i knew that these were the people who i would see at graduation, who would possibly be my college-roomies, who would play influential roles in my life. but (insert dramatic music here) i was wrong.
My freshman year was perfect and, despite what im about to tell you, i would not have changed it. I grew so much closer than i knew was possible to the people around me. and as we stood hugging each other, we watched our worlds collapse. Our principle of 4ish years, was arrested for embezzlement. for the first time ever, a student was actually kicked out of school for sexual behavior that was entirely unacceptable. one of the senior boys came out of the closet and told us he was gay. our fabulous spanish teacher announced that she was moving to texas and that we wouldnt have her next year. and that was just the public stuff. my cousin began to literally hate me for “flirting” with the guy she liked. one of my best guy friends in the world, told me that he had secretly liked me for months and i didnt share his feelings at all. our foreign exchange student dealt with family problems. we cried a lot. we were angry a lot. we were hurt and frustrated and tired of all the drama. and as the year closed, many families pulled there kids out of the next year. it was all too much. not only had we gone through a terrible year, we knew that many of our friends would not be back. and then, for the few of us who remained, for the closest of my friends, came the crushing blow.
they closed the highschool.
when i found out, i held my mother in her room and she cried on my shoulder. this school was so important to her. and then, later, when i knew she was ok, i broke down and sobbed. i loved that school and the students. i had had a bad middle school and then my one year, my perfect freshman year, i was going to lose everything i had finally fallen in love with. and i lay in bed and cried out to God. Why? and i didnt know. maybe i still dont. but this was one of the most important moments in my life. because i gave it up. i had to. and on the first monday of that school year, i found myself walking halls i had never been in and talking to kids who were the kids of my parents friends – people i didnt really know. and i was scared. and i faultered and i weakened. but God was there. and he took me in his arms and whispered that he loved me. and ya know what, i was ok. i realize now that my freshman year was the best way to end it. and obviously, he had something else in store for me. i like where i am now. i have new friends and new teachers. its hard some days because most of them dont know the Lord, but God is faithful. and now, as i sit back and look with 20/20 hindsight. i see how God worked and like i said. i wouldnt change a thing.